This is going to be a wonderful year.
I’m craving something more.
Pretty damn happy ♥
I’ve never been able to hurt anything, even a flea.. not counting the occasional mosquito, that’s about it. I once spent a half hour in the shower trying to help a little bug out before he drowned. I think he made it out fine. I didn’t though. I still needed a good shampooing.
Some people come into our lives at certain times and are only there for a short period. It’s strange how familiar someone can be, how strong the connection at one point, then ceases to exist at another. There are times in my life all these meetings, love and friendship alike are too coincidental, like the space and time of it all adds up at just the right moment and had I not done this or that, or changed my mind at the last minute it wouldn’t have happened. Or would it?
Sometimes I wonder if it’s all just random, which most of the time it feels so. But then those certain moments seem to erase any doubt that in fact it does all adds up. A connection stronger than we can even plan for or calculate the timing more perfectly. I don’t know, am I just grasping at the tiniest of threads to find the rhyme and reason to it all? Maybe just maybe. I’d like to think that it’s far beautiful even in the darkest moment, the strongest heartache, that it’s all for something bigger than we can imagine.
So wherever you are and whatever you are doing —well on second thought, my Portlandia marathon on those lazy days might not fit into this order of things, but you get the point.
I write a lot about the same things over and over again. Guess it’s a way of working these things out.. maybe in attempt to define what matters most — our connection to each other, the earth, why we’re here, the stories we share and the love we leave behind. I guess that’s life itself. Our way of life seems so contradictory when thinking about this, that we move further away from what matters. Let’s move closer.
Somewhere in between the leaving and arriving, mess of boxes.. unpacking and saving (trying to)..then thinking, now what? I finally took breath and found myself thinking back. When was the last time I actually sat down to play the piano or to paint? It’s been a while. Maybe it’s this somewhere in between feeling that just gets me. Living in the future or past, pining. I want to be here.
I want to be inspired. Be a part of something creative that brings people together in a positive way. Live in the here and now.
What inspires you?
There’s something so romantic and personal about a letter. I found another box of letters from my grandfather and grandmother, most written during the war. There were at least one or two written a week. This last one was signed, “Remember that I love you with all of my heart, devotedly yours” — It brought tears to my eyes. I wish I lived then.. I say this so often, but it truly drives me nuts how over connected we are now, it just doesn’t feel as personal. Wherever I go people are all glued to their phones, not even thinking to look at the real live world around them. Even when I am spending time with someone, every few minutes their phone will go off and from there most will feel the immediate need to answer back. Can’t it wait? Just once? Just feels like we’re only partly with someone now.. I have gotten sidetracked. But I guess I just wanted to say how alive it must have felt for my grandmother and grandfather, having been away from each other for so long during the war, to have had those letters to look forward to each week. How romantic.
I keep wondering what it would have been like had I stayed. So many directions you can take yourself in life. I sure do miss you.
What a wonderful weekend ❤